One of the really good things about NVR is that it provides something of a map for those times where we might be in survival mode.
Most of my work is with trauma in some form or another - children and young people who've experienced significant trauma, parents who've experienced significant trauma in their own childhood and have brought unresolved trauma into the parenting role, young people who are neurodivergent and traumatised as a result, and parents who are traumatised by the needs or behaviour of their children. I see the outworkings of trauma in almost all of the families I work with and I don't use the word trauma lightly.
When we're in survival mode, our body and brain function to keep us safe. It's hard to make decisions about how best to respond as parents. If we can think clearly at all, our thinking is often heavily influenced by misperceptions of our children and others. We lose empathy and we lose nuance. We tend to think everybody is the enemy. It's easy to disconnect from our children. It's easy to get into conflicts with our children and the services around us. It would be great if services were equipped to understand and support parents in survival mode parenting children in survival mode - but sadly this is often not the case. Without the right kind of help things can just keep getting worse.
NVR can provide a framework to parenting (and to relationships generally) that can ground us in safe and connecting responses. It's not easy but with support we can live by a set of chosen values, return to them when we get things wrong, and we can feel confident that we're a good enough parent doing a good enough job. For some parents, a few sessions of NVR is enough. Others need more long term help.
If you're parenting a child who was previously in care before an adoption order, an SGO, or a CAO, it might be possible to access funding. For self-funding families I offer significantly reduced rates. If you think I can help, please get in touch. Work is almost always virtual so distance isn't a barrier.
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