I love this quote by Haim Ginott (1922-1973) - a teacher, psychologist, and psychotherapist who was passionate about educational environments based on acceptance and validation, without the use of punishments.
"While teachers possess the original key to their child's experience, teachers have a spare key. They too can open or close the minds and hearts of children."
In NVR, we believe that it takes a village to raise a child - that our children need other people directly supporting them and that they also need parents who are well supported. We try to stand "shoulder to shoulder" with the other adults in our children's lives. It supports development when adults work together and openly support each other - one parent with the other, and also parents with teachers.
It's not easy.
Most schools are influenced unrealistic academic targets and unfair behaviour expectations. Sometimes it's right we take a stand against these things on behalf of our children. It's right we keep them at home when they're physically or emotionally unwell. It's right we send back unfinished homework they couldn't do, or couldn't do within a reasonable amount of time. It's right we question the detention for forgetting a pen or plastic tub. Working together doesn't mean going along with what doesn't fit with our values. It definitely doesn't mean staying quiet when our children are being treated unkindly by adults.
It means supporting the things we can, communicating disagreements respectfully, seeing the good intentions, being curious about perspectives, looking for win-win solutions, finding and holding onto allies, and saying thank you for the less than perfect.