I love this quote from Phil Stutz - psychotherapist in the netflix documentary "Stutz" - well worth a watch!
One of the trickiest but most effective things we can do as parents/teachers is believe what we can't yet see. We have a saying in our NVR groups "I'll see it when I believe it."
Of course it's not that straightforward - we can't will into existence capacities that we don't have, or that our children don't have. But our beliefs and expectations can limit or they can inspire. When we believe our children are capable of learning and growing, we're more likely to communicate that through our actions, and then we're more likely to see it.
It can be powerful, when things are difficult, to think of the current difficulties as temporary. When we think of current problems as temporary, it shifts our mindset. We can consider what change might look like? We can think about things we can say and do that might bring about that change, or at least make it more likely.
A subtle shift in narrative can change the way we're present in the relationship, and that can change everything.