It’s been a bumpy ride over the past few months. My girls lost their mum unexpectedly late last year. There’s this idea that children who don’t grow up with their parents aren’t impacted, or are less impacted, by their death. Nothing could be further from the truth. In some ways it can be so much more complicated and so much more difficult to process and move through.
Sometimes when the really big things happen, when our children (or young adults) need us to be emotionally present to their distress, we need to reduce other commitments and focus only on what’s really important - taking stock of what everybody needs and making life work for each member of the family.
So that’s what we’ve been doing for the past month or so, but this week things have turned a corner and it’s all starting to feel a bit lighter and a bit brighter. In all of the loss and the pain, some good things have come about. Links to the past that we didn’t know about and can now build on. It’s not without its complications, but it feels hopeful and exciting.
This might sound disingenuous but this is another phase of our journey where the principles of NVR have carried us. Building in the pause. Slowing things down. Being mindful of our own reactions and making sense of those. Standing firm in our duties as parents. Very clear messages. Lots of kindness. And making time for doing the things that bring us peace and joy.
One of our New Year’s resolutions - me and the other half - was to go to the theatre more often. But if we’re going to do that then it’s going to have to be up in the cheap seats with a bag of sweets from the supermarket. So yesterday was our first foray into the cheap seats. Joseph and his Technicolour Dream Coat, followed by a trip to Starbucks. It was everything we needed for this weekend.
Let’s see what 2025 brings.
I hope the new year is treating you all well so far - in the midst of your own complex journey.
EDIT - on reflection, “links to the past” isn’t the right term, it’s “links to family, family that can fill in the past but are also present here and now”