A Trauma-informed Christmas
As we get ready for the magic of Christmas, here’s a helpful list for mums and dads - a reminder that the joyful season isn’t always so...
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elainenichollsnvr
Nov 251 min read
Now you see me...
I saw this on Bluesky and was very moved. It's hard living with children who were hurt in the most awful ways and still respond from that...
elainenichollsnvr
Nov 242 min read
Tigers and teddy bears
I love Suzanne Zeedyk's analogy of tigers and teddy bears to explain attachment. Unique and highly personal neural pathways significantly...
elainenichollsnvr
Nov 232 min read
NVR - evidence base and adaptability
NVR as a parenting approach was developed in the 1990s to help parents take a firm stance around harmful behaviours - like drugs,...
elainenichollsnvr
Nov 212 min read
It’s not about what happened to us as children
One of my favourite quotes is from one of Dan Siegel’s earlier books - parenting from the inside out. He explains that it isn’t what...
elainenichollsnvr
Nov 201 min read
Sometimes we just need to let off steam
In an NVR group for kinship/connected carers we talked about the importance of venting. Sometimes we don’t want advice - we just want to...
elainenichollsnvr
Nov 191 min read
What's the story?
The stories we tell ourselves matter. Whether emotions shape our narrative or our narrative shapes our emotions is up for debate. But one...
elainenichollsnvr
Nov 172 min read
How to be angry
Let’s face it - expressions of anger in our children can be overwhelming. The shouting, stomping, crashing and banging. The “I hate you...
elainenichollsnvr
Oct 312 min read
Disenfranchised grief in adoption
Disenfranchised grief in adoption (and other similar family set ups) is a topic close to my heart - grief that society (and often family)...
elainenichollsnvr
Oct 241 min read
Working with the system
Today started with a school meeting. Usually, families are referred to NVR to learn different ways to parent in very difficult...
elainenichollsnvr
Oct 193 min read
Family values - compliance to commitment
I have great respect for Brene Brown & love her perspective here. She’s all about family values - taking children on a loving journey...
elainenichollsnvr
Oct 182 min read
Emotion Coaching
Emotion coaching has come up a few times this week in work with parents. When the first emotion we see and feel from our children is...
elainenichollsnvr
Oct 91 min read
Parental presence when we're burnt out...
I'm delivering an NVR group at the moment and this morning we were thinking about increasing our presence (in their minds and hearts)...
elainenichollsnvr
Oct 31 min read
Life story conversations with kinship children
Yesterday I had the honour and the privilege of spending the day with a group of kinship carers - thinking together about the difficult...
elainenichollsnvr
Sep 302 min read
Accept your humanity
Some children need ‘Superparents’ - the premise of Amber Elliot’s book for therapeutic parents. But striving to be the perfect parent for...
elainenichollsnvr
Sep 212 min read
NVR parenting - warm and firm
Deciding where to set our expectations for our children can be tricky when there's trauma, disabilities, and other things going on like...
elainenichollsnvr
Sep 151 min read
Learning to feel safe
Learning to feel safe after a lifetime of being on guard is going to take time. In adoption, fostering, or kinship care - “a lifetime of...
elainenichollsnvr
Sep 131 min read
Everything that irritates
Carl Jung said everything that irritates us about others can lead us to a better understanding of ourselves. It’s true. Sometimes things...
elainenichollsnvr
Sep 102 min read
Two things can be true
Those of us parenting children who’ve experienced relational trauma can sometimes struggle to decide how to respond to behaviours that...
elainenichollsnvr
Sep 31 min read
You are delightful
When children are experienced as delightful, when that’s communicated through words & actions, children experience themselves as...
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