A Trauma-informed Christmas
As we get ready for the magic of Christmas, here’s a helpful list for mums and dads - a reminder that the joyful season isn’t always so...
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elainenichollsnvr
Nov 212 min read
It’s not about what happened to us as children
One of my favourite quotes is from one of Dan Siegel’s earlier books - parenting from the inside out. He explains that it isn’t what...
elainenichollsnvr
Nov 191 min read
What's the story?
The stories we tell ourselves matter. Whether emotions shape our narrative or our narrative shapes our emotions is up for debate. But one...
elainenichollsnvr
Oct 182 min read
Emotion Coaching
Emotion coaching has come up a few times this week in work with parents. When the first emotion we see and feel from our children is...
elainenichollsnvr
Oct 31 min read
Life story conversations with kinship children
Yesterday I had the honour and the privilege of spending the day with a group of kinship carers - thinking together about the difficult...
elainenichollsnvr
Sep 151 min read
Learning to feel safe
Learning to feel safe after a lifetime of being on guard is going to take time. In adoption, fostering, or kinship care - “a lifetime of...
elainenichollsnvr
Sep 141 min read
Your old self has no say
We all make mistakes as parents. We all have regrets. We all feel shame sometimes. Give yourself permission to move on from the parent...
elainenichollsnvr
Sep 131 min read
Everything that irritates
Carl Jung said everything that irritates us about others can lead us to a better understanding of ourselves. It’s true. Sometimes things...
elainenichollsnvr
Sep 121 min read
If the only tool we have is a hammer...
If the only tool you have is a hammer, it's tempting to treat every problem as though it were a nail. A quote often attributed to Abraham...
elainenichollsnvr
Sep 102 min read
Two things can be true
Those of us parenting children who’ve experienced relational trauma can sometimes struggle to decide how to respond to behaviours that...
elainenichollsnvr
Sep 31 min read
You are delightful
When children are experienced as delightful, when that’s communicated through words & actions, children experience themselves as...
elainenichollsnvr
Sep 22 min read
Boundaries
We’ve got a reactive cavapoo who barks a lot when anybody walks past the house, especially if they’ve got a dog. Initially there was no...
elainenichollsnvr
Aug 301 min read
Breathe
When things are going well it's easier to be intentional in our parenting. It's much more of a challenge when we're out of our window of...
elainenichollsnvr
Aug 291 min read
Rudeness
My conscious thinking brain knows this. My unconscious emotional brain sometimes doesn't. When we're feeling wound up by our kids it's...
elainenichollsnvr
Aug 272 min read
Alice's Umbrella
Human beings learn by experience - things going well and things going not so well. It’s tempting to feel as though we need to say...
elainenichollsnvr
Aug 252 min read
Self-fulfilling prophecy in NVR
I love this quote by Karyn Purvis - an expert in developmental trauma, attachment difficulties, and therapeutic approaches. She was one...
elainenichollsnvr
Aug 232 min read
NVR chat - follow up group for parents
Today I did something I've been meaning to do for a while. I set up a Facebook group for parents who've completed an NVR parent group...
elainenichollsnvr
Aug 212 min read
Things I manage not to say
Children’s brains are wired differently to adult brains. The bits of the brain that help us manage our emotions and impulses, reflect on...
elainenichollsnvr
Aug 192 min read
Say yes to the feelings
This right here is the key to therapeutic parenting - saying yes to the feelings (or ideas, or thoughts, or wishes, or drives) while also...
elainenichollsnvr
Aug 152 min read
Grades don't define you
A level results in our house today. I’m in awe of those that did well and in awe of those that didn’t do so well. It’s difficult for...
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