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elainenichollsnvr
Dec 27, 20242 min read
How was your Christmas?
How was your Christmas? I’m not sure that a drama-free Christmas is possible for families raising children with significant early trauma....

elainenichollsnvr
Aug 14, 20241 min read
Collaborative problem solving
Collaborative conversations are a fundamental part of NVR parenting and NVR approaches in schools. Starting from a belief that everyone's...

elainenichollsnvr
Aug 8, 20242 min read
Coregulation
Therapeutic parents are encouraged to share their calm to coregulate their dysregulated child. They might be very distressed. They might...

elainenichollsnvr
Aug 7, 20242 min read
Children who need love the most...
Parenting is hard. Really hard. Therapeutic parenting is beyond hard. In all the therapeutic parenting advice (specific to...

elainenichollsnvr
Aug 5, 20241 min read
Everyone's doing their best
This statement can really help to shift our nervous system state when we’re struggling with children’s behaviour. I think there are few,...

elainenichollsnvr
Aug 2, 20242 min read
No matter what!
Relationship gestures - a fancy term for all the things we do that keep us deeply connected to our children - are fundamental to NVR. A...

elainenichollsnvr
Jul 29, 20242 min read
The problem with praise
If you want your kids to feel good about themselves then let them overhear you tell other people good things about them - the ways...

elainenichollsnvr
Jul 28, 20242 min read
The language of children's harmful behaviour
The terminology around children's harmful behaviour is tricky and language matters. The language we use influences whether families...

elainenichollsnvr
Jul 5, 20241 min read
Letting go
There's a lot of letting go in NVR. One of the things we can let go of is the idea that we're responsible for the actions and responses...

elainenichollsnvr
Jun 23, 20241 min read
Mindful parenting
I’ve been doing a lot of driving lately - a lot - and I’ve been listening to audiobooks to make the most of the time. So far I’m still on...

elainenichollsnvr
Jun 14, 20241 min read
Creating the conditions for felt safety
I love this but… Yes - and no. Let’s keep the measure of success to things we can control. Children with significant levels of trauma,...

elainenichollsnvr
Jun 10, 20242 min read
You can't do everything
I don’t believe we can do everything. Actually, I don't believe we can do anything either. I have my limitations and I believe we all do....

elainenichollsnvr
May 30, 20241 min read
Parental presence
This to me is parental presence. Everything we do (and don't do) influencing their development, influencing their values, influencing the...

elainenichollsnvr
Apr 25, 20242 min read
Triggers and glimmers
Sometimes we know how we want to deal with things as parents. We know what we need to do and what we should avoid doing. We can picture...

elainenichollsnvr
Apr 17, 20241 min read
Self care
Being told to make space for self care when things are difficult can feel shallow & it can highlight just how little people understand...

elainenichollsnvr
Apr 8, 20241 min read
Tolerating big feelings
If there’s one thing children provide parents with it’s the opportunity for growth. Plenty of growth. Especially if we're parenting...

elainenichollsnvr
Apr 6, 20242 min read
Realistic therapeutic parenting
Parenting is hard. Really hard. Therapeutic parenting is beyond hard. In all the therapeutic parenting advice (specific to...

elainenichollsnvr
Apr 4, 20242 min read
Birthdays
Birthdays can be interesting times in adoptive families (whatever the legal framework - adoption, fostering, or kinship care). Loss can...
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