Creating the conditions for felt safety
I love this but… Yes - and no. Let’s keep the measure of success to things we can control. Children with significant levels of trauma,...
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elainenichollsnvr
Jun 102 min read
You can't do everything
I don’t believe we can do everything. Actually, I don't believe we can do anything either. I have my limitations and I believe we all do....
elainenichollsnvr
May 312 min read
Where's the harm?
An exercise we do in our groups (and sometimes in one to one sessions) is thinking back to a thing we did as a child that our parent/s...
elainenichollsnvr
May 301 min read
Parental presence
This to me is parental presence. Everything we do (and don't do) influencing their development, influencing their values, influencing the...
elainenichollsnvr
May 272 min read
FRIES?
Looking for a resource to help with conversations about consent? There are some interesting videos out there using 'a cup of tea' to open...
elainenichollsnvr
May 261 min read
We all go through things differently
It’s tempting to compare ourselves, our parenting, our children, to others. But we don’t all experience things the same. We don’t all...
elainenichollsnvr
May 251 min read
I'm so sorry
Apologies cover a multitude of parent mistakes and parent dysregulation. We all have ‘stuff’ that drives everything from behind the...
elainenichollsnvr
May 232 min read
Parenting Styles
The four parenting styles are fairly well-known. Permissive (top left) is an approach to parenting where there’s a lot of warmth,...
elainenichollsnvr
May 221 min read
Don't compare how you feel to how others appear
Don't compare how you feel on the inside to how others appear on the outside. Remember - what people present on social media is a poor...
elainenichollsnvr
May 201 min read
Self compassion
The great thing about self compassion is it allows us to accept ourselves as we are while we openly acknowledge where we've still got...
elainenichollsnvr
May 161 min read
Children don't need perfection
Children don’t need perfection. If we can manage safe and predicable most of the time, avoiding all forms of abuse and neglect, taking...
elainenichollsnvr
Apr 261 min read
Get a dog
If you have a teenager, or a handful of teenagers, you'll know that teenagers aren't very often pleased to see us. If your self worth was...
elainenichollsnvr
Apr 252 min read
Triggers and glimmers
Sometimes we know how we want to deal with things as parents. We know what we need to do and what we should avoid doing. We can picture...
elainenichollsnvr
Apr 171 min read
Self care
Being told to make space for self care when things are difficult can feel shallow & it can highlight just how little people understand...
elainenichollsnvr
Apr 151 min read
Being present
The main goal of NVR is being present in the lives and in the minds of children. As parents but also as grandparents, teachers, social...
elainenichollsnvr
Apr 131 min read
It's okay to pay a high price
“It’s okay to pay a price if you’re buying something valuable.” This section is from a book by Eli Lebowitz and Haim Omer. It’s about the...
elainenichollsnvr
Apr 111 min read
I'll see it when I believe it
I love this quote from Phil Stutz - psychotherapist in the netflix documentary "Stutz" - well worth a watch! One of the trickiest but...
elainenichollsnvr
Apr 102 min read
Change starts with us
In NVR parenting, change starts with us - the adults. When you hear that, what does it bring up in you? It's easy to conclude that if...
elainenichollsnvr
Apr 102 min read
Adopting siblings
Today is world siblings day. When children can’t live with their parents, the decision whether to keep brothers and sisters together in a...
elainenichollsnvr
Apr 81 min read
Tolerating big feelings
If there’s one thing children provide parents with it’s the opportunity for growth. Plenty of growth. Especially if we're parenting...
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