Grades don't define you
A level results in our house today. I’m in awe of those that did well and in awe of those that didn’t do so well. It’s difficult for...
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elainenichollsnvr
Aug 141 min read
Collaborative problem solving
Collaborative conversations are a fundamental part of NVR parenting and NVR approaches in schools. Starting from a belief that everyone's...
elainenichollsnvr
Aug 132 min read
Can I use consequences in NVR parenting?
Parents often ask if it's okay to use consequences in NVR parenting. Consequences are part of life. We can't avoid them. Consequences are...
elainenichollsnvr
Aug 121 min read
Look beyond behaviour
What a beautiful illustration by Hazel Mead. Reminding us to always to consider what's going on underneath the surface, to look beyond...
elainenichollsnvr
Aug 82 min read
Coregulation
Therapeutic parents are encouraged to share their calm to coregulate their dysregulated child. They might be very distressed. They might...
elainenichollsnvr
Aug 72 min read
Children who need love the most...
Parenting is hard. Really hard. Therapeutic parenting is beyond hard. In all the therapeutic parenting advice (specific to...
elainenichollsnvr
Aug 51 min read
Everyone's doing their best
This statement can really help to shift our nervous system state when we’re struggling with children’s behaviour. I think there are few,...
elainenichollsnvr
Aug 22 min read
No matter what!
Relationship gestures - a fancy term for all the things we do that keep us deeply connected to our children - are fundamental to NVR. A...
elainenichollsnvr
Jul 301 min read
Fix the environment
There's no blame or shame in NVR - there’s no blaming or shaming of parents and there’s no blaming or shaming of children. When our...
elainenichollsnvr
Jul 292 min read
The problem with praise
If you want your kids to feel good about themselves then let them overhear you tell other people good things about them - the ways...
elainenichollsnvr
Jul 282 min read
The language of children's harmful behaviour
The terminology around children's harmful behaviour is tricky and language matters. The language we use influences whether families...
elainenichollsnvr
Jul 205 min read
BRAVING - the elements of trust in relationships
Researcher Brene Brown came up with the acronym ‘BRAVING’ - seven elements of trusting relationships. I think it’s a useful tool to...
elainenichollsnvr
Jul 132 min read
The NVR map
One of the really good things about NVR is that it provides something of a map for those times where we might be in survival mode. Most...
elainenichollsnvr
Jul 92 min read
Kind stories
This is a really hard one for parents/carers of children who struggle to regulate their emotions or manage their behaviour in safe and...
elainenichollsnvr
Jul 51 min read
Letting go
There's a lot of letting go in NVR. One of the things we can let go of is the idea that we're responsible for the actions and responses...
elainenichollsnvr
Jul 42 min read
Disability support
Did you know that you can apply for disability living allowance (PIP) if your child needs help above and beyond what would typically be...
elainenichollsnvr
Jul 21 min read
Achieving better connections
Last year friend and colleague Al Coates and I wrote a parenting course for a local authority to use as their default training for...
elainenichollsnvr
Jun 301 min read
The measure of parenting success
A quote by lived experience trauma therapist Glenn Patrick Doyle - "We're not ourselves when we're triggered. We become who we think we...
elainenichollsnvr
Jun 231 min read
Mindful parenting
I’ve been doing a lot of driving lately - a lot - and I’ve been listening to audiobooks to make the most of the time. So far I’m still on...
elainenichollsnvr
Jun 211 min read
Teachers hold a key
I love this quote by Haim Ginott (1922-1973) - a teacher, psychologist, and psychotherapist who was passionate about educational...
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